This and That

Had my mail machine malfunction today. Makes time tend to slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww soooooooooooooo wayyyyyyyyyyyy downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn yuk. Hate when time almost moves to a snails pace at work boringggggggggggggggggggg lol Gave me time to think,pray and contemplate though not bad things. Last post contained some stuff. I had a commenter ask me some very pertinent questions. I guess in many ways I have shame and guilt that are like magnets over my struggle with fear and death. Part of it that in all these years I rarely have had anyone tell me they have the same struggle. Usually it has been that they have found a peace and have no such fear. Or they tell me I am just neurotic or whatever, and many just give no response to it. In researching attitudes toward death it showed a whole lot of denial. It is pretty much the universal subject no one likes to thiok about or be forced to face. We all have to come to a realization about Jesus and His resurrection. A huge part of me aches that I haven't just let the Spirit just sweep me away and remove any and all semblance of fear. I think I have some shame in how I talk about having this fear. Why is it there and so huge like a dinosaur???/ I also have the piece of me that just wants to bare all and let God in His grace get me over the hump.

Life or death. Choose one. Who wouldn't choose life...................right??? Sure seems like alot of us are schizo then because we make choices for death many times a day. Oh it doesn't seem that way in bold neon light ways, but we do. We also choose life alot everyday. The apostle Paul talked about *doing the bad he didnt want to do and not doing the good he did want to do* He didn't extrapolate on this, so we are left to wonder. *By their fruits ye shall know them* is a verse in Scripture that talks about how to know what kind of a person someone is. Well according to Paul, who was one of the most amazing people in all the Bible, it isn't being sinless that is meant there because he obviously has *goodfruit* Is there a litmus test to knowing the *goodfruit*??? This is a question to be pursued more and so many more as well. I never know how many people stop in and read here. I am thankful fo any and all who do. It is very helpful to share myself on here. Persevere journey goes on.