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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Marco Polo

I came across an article entitled Hide & Seek God which was dealing with how God can appear to be silent so much of the time and even be hidden so to speak. I like the idea of marco polo with God as well. You all must have played the game in a pool at some point right??? Whoever is *it* calls out marco and everyone else calls back polo so the *it* can try to tag them and make them *it* Of course the ones responding with polo try to change their voices or throw them to confuse the *it* A fun game to be sure. i found a site called www.questioningfaith.com via ivps website and it has a very cool feature where people can ask questions or share stories of various faith struggles and issues, and someone gives responses, personal responses. I definitely related to alot of the posts left by the questioners.

God may be silent to us at times, not give us a direct line to Himself in a way we hope or expect. But just because He does not respond the way we want or wish or think we need, does not mean He is not there and He has abandoned us. Thoughts and feelings are tricky things. As humans we can be quite adept at the art of self-deception,denial and forgetfulness. So easy when things go awry and we feel pain to turn focus inward and forget the ways God provided when all was hunkydory. This is true for me anyway. I think He has really given so many answers to my constant facing my fear of death and how to overcome it. I just have let my own self-preservation take over and blind me to His answers. Accepting my limitations and faiures and weaknesses are another whole part of it. Fearing He is angry over my having fear and trying to escape it as well as pain and suffering which are just part of life for all of us, causes me to spiral down in all kinds of crazy notions and feelings of anxiety and dread. As I wrote before, my inner judge is always saying, *why dont you just live in faith and obedience and love God He took care of death accept it* which is my utmost desire to do. So why have i and do i have fear about it??? Because i have not been perfected in love. I pray God will do so and i will accept and rest in His love as He desires me to. Do you experience this need??? Do you feel you do rest in His love??? Love to hear as always.


At 7:28 PM, Anonymous mariam said...

Intellectually, I do rest in God. I have decided that I will assume that a God of love exists and that I am in His Heart.

Sometimes when things are going very badly it is not that I stop believing but I wonder why God is allowing me to suffer again. Is there some lesson I have not learned? Well, of course, there are many lessons I have not learned yet, but I am not always able to make the connection between whatever sorry situation I find myself in and what it is I am supposed to learn. Usually with time I see the connection. I guess God must love me a lot because he spends so much time teaching me lessons (LOL)


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