distortions
My friend barbara has had somje very good posts lately, talking about how to love Jesus. I began thinking of how simple and direct the Bible is on this *Love the Lord your God with all your mind,heart,soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself* Easy right??? So much so little children comprehend and know the meaning. Why is it I clog and cloud it with so many weird distortions??? I want to love God just as His Word commands but maybe i dont have the right idea of love.... maybe i have sin I havent dealt with and it keps me from Him as i should be.....I let my mind and imagination run wild and before i know it im surrounded within by all these *flaming arrows* as Paul describes in ephesians where i just get all caught up in wishing i could just turn my mind off and be still.
I have as what i want to be my utmost desire to love God serve Him and worship Him as the prime purpose of my life. I think/reflect/pondr/meditate and all manner else on these things and others all day and at night as the major focus of my being ... YET i find myself so caught up with JUNK..... just stuff which creates a emotional/mental/spiritual paralysis of sorts where I just feel trapped from being able to experience the joy and power of the Spirit and walk as Jesus wants me too and WHY???? I am basically thinking out loud here writing on paper my inner travails. Is it just the human condition??? I wonder how nonchristians handle the jumble inside their being??? I can't imagine life without God but it seems so much I cant just rest in the life i have WITH HIM!!!! Weird things is.... I have moments usually throughout a day where He just gives me a glimpse of the glory He IS!!! A small realization of all He provides because He IS ALMIGHTY GOD!!!! And then,,,, I am back to chasing my tail again inwardly speaking!!!!!
Strike any chords with any who read here???? Barbara also posted about our persoanlity types have to relook to see where i fall because i am usually easygoing and carefree but i have these times where i can feel melancholy. Just really good to be able to have a place to come and share like this and especially know others are doing the very same and we all can be used to encourage each other. TGIF everyone!!!
posted by Robert @ 6:30 PM
2 Comments:
Yeah, I posted related feelings today. At least they're tangentally related.
For me, I think it comes down to trust. Do I really trust God? Well, that and the ever present appeal of sin. And by sin I mean finding solutions to any of life's challenges apart from God.
I don't have glimpses through the day of His glory. But I have had times of quiet gratitude for what He has done and who He is. But in an instant, they're gone as if they never existed, let alone had any influence in my life.
Yet, I know, I believe, that He loves me. There's much evidence in my life to suggest that God is an ancillary feature of my life, pulled off the shelf when I need Him. But despite my immaturity and vacillation, I still have a core-level belief that He has been at work in my life, transforming my character, and that He will continue that process until I die.
You said, "I just feel trapped from being able to experience the joy and power of the Spirit and walk as Jesus wants me too and WHY? . . . Is it just the human condition?" Romans 7 is one answer to that. But I wonder if the Christ is really concerned about whether or not we experience joy and His power? I wonder if He is more interested in us being faithful, or even content, when we do not experience joy or the power of His Spirit? I know there are plenty of verses that indicate that He wants awesome things for us, but for me, it is so easy to focus on the experience. I am a stimulation junkie. And sometimes God is just another drug to me. But that's me.
Just some random thoughts in response. Good questions, my friend.
Yep, sharing is a good thing Robert. I see Gary has already been here and you've probably read his post by now - it was another good one. I really resonate with good old Gary (just kidding about the old part).
Have you ever read "Inside Out" by Larry Crabb? I have had that book for about 15 years and am just now reading it. I think you'd like it.
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