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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Stream of Concsiousness

Just a free-flow here of many areas of stuff I wonder about and try to think about how to write of them. God. Jesus. Life. Death. God is good, He is sooooooo good He came down as one of us, in Jesus, and died for us even after we ignored and rejected Him. Why is it so easy to be distracted from thinking about God??? I understand logically about how death happens due to sin and the whole story, still hurts that my dad died at 30 from a long battle with cancer. Death can strike anytime anywhere, are we ever really ready, no matter what state our faith is in??? Fear, can fear be controlled??? Sometimes fear is good and helpful, often it seems to freeze and paralyze how do you manage it to keep it from being a detriment as to a help??

Wakeup,shower and dress, drive to work,clock in. Work can be so boring and montonous. Some coworkers are literal pains and make time just drag. Some coworkers are fun and easy to laugh and joke with. Certain parts of work are just things i don't want to do. Remember *do all things as though you were doing them for the Lord* Grrrrrrrrr of course i know that and want to do that, but i fight it or don't do it for whatever reason. Ah why do i feel stuck in the same patterns over and over. Well then again i have overcome some old ways and habits, yes God helped me to do that whoohoo!!! Uh-huh yes but you still do this that and the other over and over so locked in to self and failing to put to death the deeds of the flesh. Ugh so hate hearing the guilt and shame voices pointing the thumbs down at me for all the failures. Wow, God sure is good in how He helped this one and that one, how He has shown His faithfulness over time and especially in His Word!!!! I need to eat im thirsty!!!!

Ok well just a bit of free-flow there just as it happens in my head or a semblance thereof. Love to hear if it made sense and resembled your own inner mind at all??? Maybe i need to eat koo koo puffs if it sounds all surreal and bizarre lol Thanks for stopping by!!!


At 10:48 PM, Blogger jennypo said...

Remember, Robert - for the one to has fled to God for refuge, death cannot strike anywhere, anytime. Our deaths are timed and chosen by God Himself. We may fear the process of death, but we should remember that for us, death is neither complete nor is it random.

If only we could see clearly that the danger is not so much in losing our lives, but in living on, wasting our lives. Keep following the only One who can bring peace and purpose to both life and death. :)

At 10:50 PM, Blogger jennypo said...

p.s. Thanks for always reminding me of the goodness and the mercy of our Great God. I needed that today.

At 6:16 AM, Blogger Scot said...

Robert, I share many of the same thoughts and emotions. Looking back, just a year ago I see how God has strengthened me to overcome many temptations abd falling into sinful cycles. However, I still find myself spending a lot of time focusing on my repepitive sin issues. I struggle with how to lived like I'm loved by God - resting in His peace knowing that He will see my transformation process through to completion, and being obedient to His word and no longer conforming to the evil desires and be holy in all I do for He is holy.

Then again, our sinful nature is crystal clear when we stand in the Light.

Thanks for sharing your heart Robert.


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