Struggling With God-Pain & Suffering

All of us are theologians and psychologists and philosophers, we all just don't have degrees declaring us proficient in them. Descartes famous cogito elucidates that by being conscious we think and thus we engage in the activity of these abovenamed disciplines,just cannot avoid it. Some of the most thorough and intensified dialogues have been had over the attempt to understand pain and suffering in realtionship to God,I still am compelled to offer my thoughts all the same.

Pain and suffering seemingly appear when God declares to adam and eve the consequences of their having chosen to do what He had forbade them too,eat of the tree of the knowledge of good & evil. Adam would suffer in working to sustain life and till the soil, Eve would suffer in bringing forth children to multiply the human race. Aside from natural disasters like floods,earthquakes,storms as well as disease, alot of pain and suffering seems to be manmade. Cain killing Abel was the first known murder,which stemmed from jealousy and envy. Rodney Kings words would have been wise to be heeded from the very beginning-can't we all just get along??

Pain and suffering vary in degree from person to person. Some have extremely high thresholds of pain,others incredibly low. Physical,emotional,psycholgical,spiritual pain. is any worse than the others??? For me, though i have dreaded and feared severe physical pain for most of my life, emotional and spiritual pain are far worse. The imagining of some unknown pain coming upon me has been a terror which has ravaged my inner being far more than any physical manifestation ever could. Funny thing,even though I have feared physical pain for so long,almost everytime i have actually encountered it in reality, it has been far less worse than my imagination made it out to be. Crazy thing there.

Sitting in the hospital at night, I had all kinds of notions run through my head. Thousands of people killed in an instant by earthquakes or monsoons,millions killed by a ravaging disease for which there was no antidote at the time,people killed bya man who randomly chose to fire a gun for crazy thoughts in his head. Babies dying stillborn in a womb,bombs killing people in countries torn by war,people basically lifeless just existing with no visible signs of conscious awareness. The list could go on and on. Why all this???? Why was my heart still beating even though so diminished??? What keeps our lives going and someone else dying???

God is big enough to listen to these queries. I think He may even relish them,as it shows a desire to seek understanding and closer relationship. Mystery abounds to me about all this,and ultimately He is love and will make everything alright. Hope to hear what you think of these struggles within yourselves.