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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Saturday, September 05, 2009


Life is hard. That was the first line of M Scott Pecks challenging book, *The Road Less Traveled*. Wise statement indeed. All of us have various isues in our lives, personal, social,financial,spiritual and overall. I always want to keep that in the foefront of my mind in looking at my own situation. God definitely is allowing circumstances to occu r which stretch me and force me to come to terms with things I need to. We all have blind spots or hidden things which escape our consciousness somehow. God knew what He was doing in creating the Church, and calling on us to carry out the *one anothers*. We all help each other to make it through as we journey on in life.

I have always had a struggle with taking action in certain ways as far as approaching life. As i said before i adopted a style of learned helplessness from a very young age, as I lacked an emotional strength to handle life and its trials in an assertive way. For me, letting others help me and even do things for me i felt unable or incapable of was just a way to be. Its not easy to write this and accept but its an honest look at a pattern I had as life went on. It was an effective pattern in many ways while growing up,but has been totally ineffective as an adult. I see a continuum of the ways of dealing with lifes challenges, I fall up and down the scale. Right now health and financial concerns are very heavy. I want to be able to find my way through, not burdening any of my family,friends or church due to my situation. I wish i had learned early on to be a good money manager, I didn't.

i write this post because its truly what is on my heart and what i am facing. I hope someone who may face similar or worse circumstances happens by and reads and gains encouragement from doing so. i mean for the tone of this to be hopeful and positive as God shines a light to help me learn and grow from the bad and troubling events and to help me see more clearly my own postive abilities and prospects. I am and want to continually be grateful for all the incredible people who have and will bless my life just because of who they are!!!!!


At 3:14 PM, Blogger karen said...

argggh. Robert, it pains me...your journey. I'm praying. Let's talk soon.

At 8:10 AM, Blogger Becky said...

been praying for you....


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