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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

physical appearance

Definitely a relevant topic eh??? i have had had thoughts on this subject percolating on and off for awhile now, decided to finally tackle it . I always find it interesting when people ask.... *what kind of girl/guy interests you, physically speaking?????* For one because I have found so many DO have a certain 'type' that is the most appealing to them. Also, i DON'T have a specific *type* i look for. i am a big guy, *muscular teddybear* is my way of putting it. I carry it well, i played football and have always had muscle and a larger frame soi it helps. I have gone out with and been attracted to women of all sizes shapes and looks. Blonde,brunette,redhead,multi-colored hair LOL short,long hair thin, BBW, rubenesque and on it goes.

I was always a "cute" kid growing up.... had what so many older ladies called *that gorgeous hair* blonde and very curly my cheeks still are sore from the pinches (yes it happened alot) I was lucky to have a high metabolism and remain very thin as well. All was good until..... 1973 turning 12 moving from jersey to california LA the OC..... right near the beach what happened????? ACNE

I was a brand new kid in 7th grade prime age where kids are the meannest and most ready to pick out physical things that stick out. Every day all day at school constant references to *pizza face* zitman* and other equally endearing terms. Finally it went away in my sophomore year at high school but the inner scars from looking that way and being called ugly in so many ways it was very hard to NOT still see/feel myself as i looked at 12. I'm 45 now STILL have pain from that period of life i struggle with on and off. Weird eh????

Some other blogs ive read where this subject has been talked about spurred me to share on this. I'm not writing to display bitterness or anger over having had the bad acne nor how i was treated, but to think about how physical appearance really does affect us. i know alot of people who would be deemed *physically stunning* who feel anything but because of various reasons, one being that they feel like a mannequin who are only a body and flesh no one sees or cares their *inner real self*. Tragic because those of us who either feel/believe we are *ugly8 or just are termed that by others also believe much the same, no one sees our *true inner selves* because all the focus is on our body and flesh. Those who have a disease or chronic illness that affects their appearance, those who are down's syndrome, those who have been deformed by a fire or accident of some kind.

i guess i just wanted to throw some thoughts out in the open to just reflect. I hated that i was seen as just being an *acne-face* and no one cared to go past that. I hate that anyone has to deal with being seen as an *it* of any kind. The true *us* doesn't involve the physical at ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you have any thoughts??? Ideas on how you have dealt with this??? I like to think there is a wide variety of opinion on this subject out there It will be very intriguing to see the replies. Thank you for all who stop by and who choose to comment they are inspirations all!!!!


At 9:47 PM, Anonymous BarBarA said...

Kids can be so cruel. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It made me remember a boy named Mark K. that I went to school with who was teased for the same reason. I would cry at night thinking of the mean things kids said and did to him - and it wasn't even happening to me! So I can't imagine how you, he and all the other kids would feel.

My son was teased in grade school for being "fat". He was chubby (not super fat). Well guess what - he had a couple of growth spurts and all that "fat" disappeared and now he's tall and muscular and could kick their mean butts if he wanted (he would never do that).

Sorry - I got off on a tangent. I'll finish this comment later.

At 5:15 AM, Blogger Karen said...

It's interesting how our ideas of the "perfect" person changes as we grow wiser in life. Most "gorgeous" people, based on looks only, are "ugly" on the inside; selfish, into looks only, shallow, etc. I believe that inner beauty shines through and makes a person more attractive. The more time one spends with another, the more they can be attracted.

I wish I knew then (growing up) what I know now. Kids can be so awful to one another. I was a wallflower growing up and in a lot of ways I still am, but it's OK because I'm OK with who I am. :-)

At 3:32 PM, Blogger A thinker said...

Hi Robert,

Thanks for your comment on my blog. For what it's worth:

I guess I am what many people call "beautiful". But I don't feel that way on the inside. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I am startled at what I see because it does not reflect the inner reality I deal with. I have had a very difficult life with a lot of pain (I don't say this easily, I know a lot of people have). Most of the time I am sad, depressed, despairing, or some combination of the above. Physical beauty matters nothing when it comes to what goes on inside.

Sometimes it is nice because I know that it gives me an edge when I am talking to people that they consider me attractive. That makes me a little more confident...but as far as my everyday, inner reality, it makes little or no difference. I also tend to focus on what I consider the *unattractive* aspects of me, which counterbalance the positive.

Dunno if that helps. For what it's worth.


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