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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

how we see God the Father

I wrote a post discussing similar themes a week or so ago, one person left a comment saying it helped stir a memory she wanted to deal with. One of the greatest things about blogging is you never know who might be helped in some way by what you write. I have read alot of books on emotional healing and some talking about how we see God the Father in distorted ways depending upon abuse we may have experienced as kids or the failings within our parents or adult relatives we were close too.

I know for me, I have a hard time connecting in am emotionally healthy way with thinking about my human father as he died when i was 8. I DO have lots of slides, photos and even a silent video of him to look at anmytime i wish, but i have NO recall as to how his voice sounded,,,, no memory of just how he was overall as a person. I think this has impacted my view of God the Father as i grew up. I have often found him to seem/feel distant and hard to capture relationally/emotionally. Being a christian and maturing over the years has helped this a great deal but it still has lingering effects when i pray at times or when im in certain moods and such. One of the main struggles ive had is facing death. Jesus overcame death which is what makes Him Lord and Savior and separates Him from any others. I KNOW intellectually and from His Word the power and victory He brings in removing fear.... i guess my deeper struggle is with .... have Ai believed enough??? is my faith as He wants it to be??? Death only happens once..... no second chances one you pass on over...... what if ive messed it up somehow and dont know how to fix it????/ These are wacky thoughts Im sure but i have a book i need to finish called the *Thomas Factor* Thomas was one of the 12 and he, even AFTER all the other 11 told him they saw Jesus alive he STILL DOUBTED!!!! The book especially talks about *emotional doubts* the *what if's* which seem to hang around incessantly like a bad smell. Everytime I take time to just clear my head and contemplate any other possibility Jesus truth ALWAYS stands up as it should. I just wondered if the rest of you have similar dealings emotionally.relationally.rationally with how you see God and maintaining intimacy and true understanding of Him. Hope I dont come across as a wild crazy neurotic blathering my insanity aimlessly LOL

Come one come all!!!! Leave your pearls of wisdom as you wish!!!

1 Comments:

At 9:55 AM, Blogger Karen said...

There have been times I struggle with it all, but it is usually when I'm too focused on me and what I'm going through to realize that things do happen for reasons and we weren't put on this earth to breeze through life. We're here to learn and I believe He doesn't give us anything more than we can handle. I would feel lost without Him in my life.

God is forgiving and he loves us. He knows we all make mistakes. I've also learned that when I am dealing with something that I cannot control, usually with a close friend or family member that is messed up and I've done all I can, I hand it over to him and it usually works out - not over night, but in time. We're all on our own journey and it's nice to help others out as we go along on ours.

Great post, Robert. Thank you for stopping by my blog yesterday and I'm glad your stent went well and I pray that you won't have any more problems. Take care!

 

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