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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Saturday, September 12, 2009


Everybody has different reasons for blogging. Some like to share information on all manner of subjects, some like to be humorous, some political, some theological,some personal. Many are a mishmash of all of these and more. I began blogging after seeing a few people i had met on a christian recovery forum, as it looked like a great outlet for expression as well as gaining contact with people all over the world. It has proven to be that and so much more over the last 5 years.

I tend to write very personally on here, adding some tidbits of other stuff every now and then. I find writing allows me to share things in my heart and soul that I just don't have the time or safeness to share in face to face life. I wonder in my mind alot what goes on internally with people as they write their blogs. Do they agonize over whether they share too much info, or too little??? Do they worry about how they come across to people, even though the people are relatively anonymous??? Do they wonder if they really have anything worthwhile to say and that would be of interest to anyone,let alone warrant a comment??? These are a few of the varied ruminations that run through my head as I type.

We exist on a huge continuum as living beings. The top of the ladder are those who have it all together in the best way possible and are as free as can be from the angst that life possesses so often. The bottom of the ladder are those who have hit rockbottom and have almost no ability to live life in any functional way at all. We all are somewhere on that ladder, and we move up and down depending how life hits us and we respond. I think it is a constant challenge to fight against being consumed by our own imaginations and our own selves, thinking we are isolated and alone even though we are surrounded by people sharing much of the same trials and tribulations as we are. Another struggle is to lose ourselves in being involved in as many things as possible, all to avoid dealing with issues of pain and loss that we find too difficult to face.

When I am around people, be they family, friends or acquaintances, i find it easier to let go of the inner demons that hit me when i am alone. Whoever first said we are all our own worst enemy definitely knew of what they spoke. I find being around people within the blogosphere is also more freeing. To read,respond and have interaction with people, even those with whom we may vehemently disagree, is comforting and restorative to me. Amazes me still how I can find a connection with people who I would have never thought possible if not for the internet. That is my stuff for now.


At 8:39 AM, Blogger Becky said...

all I could think of reading this was the ground is level at the foot of the cross...why do you see a ladder??

At 9:57 PM, Blogger jennypo said...

I agree with Becky - all of us, well-adjusted or not, have sinned and come short of God's glory. Of what use then are our foolish measures? Don't you believe it Robert - that ladder is a lie.

"But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:4-7

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Robert said...

Becky and jennypo- thank you both sweet sisters!!! I fully agree at the foot of the cross we are all equal as sinners who need Him. I was meaning more of in human/achievement terms but you are both right, when it comes down to it we are all standing as opposed to being on rungs of a ladder. Thank you for your wisdom.


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