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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Thursday, March 22, 2007

The Big *M*

I have had this post marinating in my head for quite sometime. A few things i have read and dealt with recently have helped me to decide it was time to write it. Sex is one of the most complex areas of life we have to deal with. it invloves us at the very core essence of our being, involving our mind/emotions/soul all of us!!!!! I think food may battle sex as far as most difficult area of life to handle well some may say food is equal to sex but ummmmmmmm well thats a whole nother ballgame. I think a major aspect of sex which still serves as the * elephant in the room* is the Big M---------- masturbation. In my years at Bible College, seminary, not to mention church and being at conferences,seminars,missionaries you name it. This subject almost NEVER gets discussed. Trouble is it is very close to one of the MOST guilt-inducing,shamecreating struggles christians deal with!!!! I have had many men come to me and share their pain over this area. I went on a mission trip to Utah while doing my internship one sumer. We were witnessing to mormons in salt lake city right at the major temple. We showed a film called * The Godmakers* in the salt palace which showed the differences between LDS and Christianity. one young man in his early 20's , committed suicide and the film includes his family sharing as to why. His father happened to be there watching and was standing right next to me. He shared with me that it was guilt over masturbation that he believed led the man to take his life. That is serious stuff!!!

In turning to Scripture we really do not have any clearcut statements made by God on this issue. Guidelines involving sexual purity, holiness and dealing with lust are mentioned in depth. it is pretty universal that sexual fantasies are normally involved while performing the act. Yes we are to control lust and seek sexual purity however, it is said that men think about sex once every 7 seconds maybe even shorter. Women are not far behind anymore i dont think. Fantasies run through our minds and disappear they just happen although sometimes we can and do seek to bring them to our imagination. I think that if someone is struggling and being sorely tempted in acting out in some fashion, that a few minutes of fantasy in total privacy which relieves the tension and takesd away the temptation might be a release valve that God fully understands. I am NOT condoning making this a habit and something to be done anytime we wish, especially realizing for many it serves as a major stumbling block. I AM seeking to come to grips with something that a vast majority of people deal with this on a daily basis and also have it be a huge burden which God doesnt want for them to have. I think that the whole issue of christians and sex is becoming a real discussion now instead of a hush hush type thing or something that gets treated with pat answers. I think honesty and openness can only be used to bring Gods healing and grace into an area where it has been kept in the shadows. I hope and pray that God helps those who are in bondage to shame and guilt over this as well as a cycle of addictin they feel powerless to break, will find that freedom and victory by realizing He knows and loves them and His grace will set them free, as well as by genuine sharing with other believers who know and understand the struggle. i hope it came off as i intended, a message of encouragement and grace.


At 11:03 AM, Anonymous BarBarA said...

Well done, Roberto. I applaud you for the courage to talk about this sensitive "taboo" subject that plagues many Christians....I think probably singles more than marrieds.

I am going to link here in hopes that a dialog starts.

At 1:42 PM, Blogger bjk said...

You are so brave and honest Bob...bobby...bobberino....ah heck gotta stick with B's perfect Roberto although mine is said with rolling r's....

Now how to dialogue about this...maybe I will get Dan to talk to you here.....or blog about it on mine....or maybe here in your comments.....

Our pastor talks about it with the men and has on occassion brought out the M word on Sunday mornings....why do we have it so twisted you know...sex, why have we so perverted what He created for us.....

good post

At 5:01 PM, Blogger Larry said...

It seems to me that among the problems followers of Jesus face, masturbation is pretty small potatoes. It's not that much of a threat in real terms. Lots of guilt gets heaped onto people, but who is harmed by the act itself?

At 2:59 PM, Anonymous BarBarA said...

Just a side note to sexually addictive people actually can harm themselves by excessive masturbation either physically (this happens mostly with women) or by allowing it to take over other areas of life. Its hard to imagine, but it becomes the number one driving force in some people's lives. I have my own addictions so I know how powerful and demeaning it can be when you want to stop something, but you can't.


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