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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Monday, March 12, 2007

the deepest fear

As i contemplated this the verse *perfect love casteth out fear for he who fears has not been perfected in love * keeps popping up in my mind. part of that verse also talks about fearing punishment and that can only come from sin. What was the reaction of adam & eve once they had sinned??? Fear, guilt shame wanting ti hide from God. Sin can only cause this. God has given us the gift of confessing our sins to Him for forgiveness, and Jesus paid the ultimate price taking our sins on Himself and abolishing them once and for all at His death burial and resurrection. yet, i think subjectively and even objectively we become chained by our sins even as believers if we dont have the deeprooted realization of His love,grace.forgveness and peace within. i am speaking theologically and personally here. I have been studying catholicism in a class last several weeks and the week we looked at confession. WOW!!! Amazing what catholics go through no wonder we hear about catholic guilt so much!!! Confession for catholics must be done in a box in a church to a priest and followed by penance meaning making atonement for your sins showing God how sorry you are for them. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm,,,,,, pardon but Christ alone was and IS the atonement and only HE not any priest nor prayer or rosary can free us from sins penalty!!!! I was raised catholic so Im not bashing here just laying out a dilemma i see as going against Scripture and against Gods way of salvation and giving us peace and forgiveness pretty major stuff!!!!

The worst fear is that God either wont be there when we most need Him or that he will be and send us away. Either one is death real death. Sin and satan try to lie and make sin sound so harmless make it even a non-existent term even. Jesus takes away the sting of sin and death and gives life. He calls us to die to ourselves and live to God. Die daily, repent daily so we can live in and by the Spirit. Wish i heard more sermons and writings on putting sin to death so we can live in the Spirit and realize that suffering is the way God seems to work in making us like Him like Jesus. Joni Eareckson Tada hopefully many of you know of her, is a quadriplegic who has a ministry to the disabled. her book * The God i Love* is sooooooooooooooooooo awesome!!!! She has a website as welll Joni and friends she has a section where she answers questions. She has some very solid responses to why God allows suffering and evil as well as how He works in our lives regardless of what junk we have gone through in life. Just writing various thoughts that came to me as i read her book. God doesnt want us to be plagued by fear gloom and despair no matter what we have done or had done to us He wants us to rejoice in Him even in the darkest times we may ever face in our lives. This really hits me, probably because I let myself focus to much on shame over past or present sins and on my failure as opposed to His power and grace to transform me moment by moment. I want to change that to seek to choose to rejoice and trust Him that YES HE IS PRESENT IN MY PAIN IN MY HURT IN MY SUFFERING WHATEVER IT MAY BE!!!!!!

i want to let go of my emotional turmoil and give it to Him and realize He will keep me in the midst of anything and everything that happens in my life because He IS GOD!!!! That is why His Word is sooooooooooooooo important knowing it is His Word and that it connrcts me to HIM!!!!!!!!! I pray He will lead me to deeper and deeper trust and obedience and to turn over the struggles moment by moment as I realize He is always with me and like the verse in Romans says nothing can separate me from His love which is in Christ Jesus my Lord!!!!


At 6:14 AM, Blogger So I Go said...

thanks for the birthday wishes and kind words on my blog! all the best to you this week.

At 11:18 AM, Anonymous BarBarA said...

This was a great post, friend. I am struggling big time (what else is new - but even bigger than normal) and was just trying to justify a sin in my mind when I read your post.

"Sin and satan try to lie and make sin sound so harmless make it even a non-existent term"

Hmm. That's exactly what I told myself - it won't hurt anyone. Not true.


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