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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Monday, October 19, 2009

Because He Cares

Life has so many peaks and valleys, for everyone regardless your race,gender,creed. We all face a lot of good times and a lot of bad, some tilt way over on one side of the scale. No reason given as to why, but it happens. There are many who have chosen to de-convert from Christianity. They have decided they can no longer believe as they once did, and I'm sure the reasons vary for each person as it does for those who come to faith. I can definitely see and make sense of why some get soured on what is put forth as Christianity at times, especially the health/wealth message, but also ones where God becomes alot like the wizard of Oz,demanding certain actions of any who come before Him and threatening to destroy if they disappoint Him.

My post title comes from a verse, I believe in 1 Peter, where Peters tells us to cast all our anxieties upon God, because He cares for us. There is no caveat there. It doesn't say because He demands perfect faith, perfect obedience,or any kind of performance from us. He cares about us and wants to take all our worries and troubles upon Himselfm because He is big enough to handle it.

I am seeking to come to grips in a new way with fear, as i have sought to deal with it in endless frustration for so long. I think a large part of that is my thinking there has to be an action I do, a way I willfully or in a certain level of faith make the fear disappear. I think my focus has been off and He is the One to remove it. How to grasp this and accept it is the tricky part. A part of me holds back and is like, *I don't know, i see ways You have let certain things happen, if i just completely let go and trust You then You may cause something to happen as a test or something.* I then go through ruminations where i challenge that thinking and realize that actually He doesn't have to wait for me to do anything to cause something to happen. My worst moments are those times when I worry sudden death could happen any second and i am in one of my *down times* and don't want to meet God then. Just sharing how it happens in my head, lol.

I worry about how i write on here at times. But then i take it back, because this is my place to express all areas of myself, especially ones i hold inside and only share silently to God. It is therapy a lot in my writing, it is also healing and challenging, especially to recieve comments. No matter how hurting,struggling,questioning or anything else i am, I have the bottomline that God is love and He cares for me. He cares for all of us. He is big enough to hear our cries, even when we choose to reject Him, He knows we can come back.

2 Comments:

At 8:02 PM, Blogger Gary Means said...

Hey Robert, I thought I had your email. Seems odd that I don't. Anyway I'm changing it to invited readers and I would like you to have access, so send me an email, please. Thanks.

 
At 7:05 AM, Blogger Becky said...

Just checking in and up on you....how you doin?

 

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