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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

my faith journey

Bjk asked me in a comment to share the origins of my faith journey and why i believe God is good so here goes!!!! I was raised in the Roman Catholic Church as i have shared before. I did take God very seriously and was very active in catechism. After my dad died we eventually stopped going to church, though i still believed God was real and good. I had some discussions with a Jehovahs Witness who came to our door in california but it never reached a commitment level. My journey really took off last day of my sophomore year of high school.

I cannot recall if i shared this before or not. I was hanging around the choir room waiting for my friend on the last day of school. He was down the hallway making out with a girl we were going to my house to get stoned to celebrate end of school. As i waited a girl who was in choir came up to me and suddenly asked me had i heard the good news???? I kinda knew what she meant but wasn't entirely sure. So i told her no what is it??? She excitedly said the good news is that Jesus is real and wants to be Lord of your life!!!!! WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i was just a wee bit uncomfortable. I told her i believed in Jesus and she said i needed to accept Him as Lord and Savior and know the good news She began a short discussion on the Gospel and soon asked me to pray the sinners prayer I told her I would but we would have to do it quietly (no i didnt tell her i was waiting to go get high with my friend) We prayed the sinners prayer and she signed my yearbook giving me her phone number, telling me she was excited she had just made a new brother in the Lord and to grow in the Bible and prayer she gave me a Gospel of John booklet and told me to call her with any questions. She left soon,and yes i still went and got high with my friend.

i ended up being discipled by this girl all summer long over the phone and eventually went with her to calvary chapel where i went forward and made a public confession of faith. I ended up joining a church very close to where i lived and was baptized. Thus began my faith journey!! Somehow, even before sharing with that girl, i just believed God was good. I struggled with the *why* of my dad dying so young from skin cancer he was 30. I just saw things that made me believe He was real and He was good, in spite of the bad the devil was responsible for the bad. I had a few close calls with possible severe injury or death as wel las seeing that happen to other people or seeing accounts of it on tv or in the paper or books. The whole fact of life made me believe God was good as well. i am a bit of an enigma in that i am so very analytical and logical but yet also very emotional and intuitive. i love to be like Mr Spock and try to take things in a pure logic manner but oh those emotions come roaring thru at times.

I am an avid reader always have loved books!!!! i devoured books on faith and apologetics and inspiration on becoming a christian. My mind has a very solid grip on the reasons and understanding of alot of the BIG questions concerning life and God and how it all fits together. Emotionally though, well just read my blog LOL A whole different story!!! I sek to stay on the historical orthodox course faithwise which is why i make posts defending the Bible as Gods authoritative Word perfect as it was given in its original form. Relativism has seeped into Christianity due to massive cultural override and sometimes seems to reduce the unique claims made by Jesus and the Bible which only changes the foundation God intended. There are definitely many ways in which God lets mystery fuel our journey in pursuing Him. No one can claim complete knowledge of Him and faith and the walk it leads us on definitely involve alot of mystery as well as uniqueness individually, but the objective foundations we rest upon MUST be unshakable or else we end up in a neverending downward spiral into chance with no assurance or certainty, which makes Nietzsche and nihilism a viable option indeed. If God is unreliable and changing then might makes right the meek shall inherit the whip of the brash ok well my little commentary.

That is a bit of my story much more to be shared so glad and thankful the blogosphere exists in which to do so. may God join our heads and hearts to rest together in Him and His love grace and peace!!!!


At 8:52 AM, Blogger bjk said...

wrestling in common as well as Catholocisim or maybe BECASUE of C we have wresting in common....looking forward to the journey Robert......this weekend feels kind of charged you know...or maybe just my emotions out of control again....

At 12:59 AM, Blogger Awareness said...

Hi Robert!

I'm writing during the weeeeee hours, just to let you know that I'm WIDE awake........lol........ but fine about it because I get to read wonderful words and thoughts of my fellow bloggers.

Some of my thoughts.....that jumped to me while reading about part of your journey?

Chance and coincidence, I believe don't exist. Everything happens for a reason. We may not ever know the reason, hence the mystery, but God has one. Sometimes in our lives this is tested.......when we have to endure pain and sorrow or deep grief...... but if we can hold onto the fact that God is always present....whether it is through another human being touching us or an event that occurs......whether its in a church amongst the pews, or on a beach during a solitary moment......He is with us.

I have just come to a point in my life where I believe this to be true. And for that, I am grateful. The other big mystery questions....the questioning of the Bible stories etc, etc......well, from my foundational faith that He will always love me no matter how badly I screw up.....I figure the rest of the questions will eventually find answers.

Boy........I'm WIDE awake!!

And fine :) Hope you are too.



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