Uprooted

Digging deep way far down pulling the roots out and replanting. Im having that kind of experience with God now i think. So long have been a moderately conservative republican and had my theology pretty wll layed out. God sure has seen to open my eyes to really see and ears to really here however. its been 23 years now since I heard Tony Campolo speak and with all the controversy surrounding him the most important part of his message sinks in and hits home so much more now. Take care of *the least of these* There is no glitz and glamour in doing that. No overpowering thrill of the Spirit slaying you, of some push of Gods breath sending tingles down your spine simply being a servant and meeting needs as they are mde known or even not visibly apparent.

Still dealing with fear. Can it be totally removed?? is it supposed to be??? Alot of my fear is just deep;y buried in my gut. i KNOW the answer to fear------------ trust in God!!!!! I have had many many incredible times of God touching me to alleviate fear in certain situations. So much of the time it seems to just float like a fog that hangs still motionless but everpresent, It is something where my feelings overwhelm my mind and faith and cause a *what if* to just fill my insides and mind like an electric shock. Some people are masters of their emotions. TEACH ME YOUR TRICK!!! I remember playing pingpong in lobby at seminary with the dorm dad. We were pretty evenly matched but anytime i felt a lil pressure to perform my emotions threw me off he was always pretty able to keep his under control and he told me if i ever learned that my game would be much better,

When i feel something in my chest or in my head fear hits a scared reaction like 8i dont want a heart attack i dont want a brain tumor or stroke* and i just hope it goes away. usually it has so far. My mind doesnt start singing it is well with my sou or blessed be the name of the Lord and it doesnt say oh yes Im going home to Jesus death take me now!! I really wish it would!!!! i have had countless times on my knees pouring out my heart to God to let that BE my automatic reaction when trauma or anxiety hit. At times i do sit and sing songs or psalms and just pray for His peace and comfort. Pray to rest in Him. Am i too black/;white on this???? Do some of you go through this??? I always come back to God and Jesus no matter what i go through just wish more and more i would begin and stay there more often!!!