zigzagging

Isn't it great that our lives are not alwsys going in a straight vertical line ever upward?? I mean, how can anyone ever imagine being that perfect??? Our reality is that we go through loops,twists and turns like one of the monster rollercoasters that exist now. Somehow even though this is reality I have a nagging voice that keeps trying to tell me I must achieve constant progress spiritually and to always be seeking to advance improving minute by minute. Tracy has posted a 2 part theme on the failure of self-effort and the reality of grace. Such solid meat to chew on and marinate within your mind and soul.

Accepting the grace of God as a living,breathing truth within is still a process for me. I understand and fully believe and accept it hook line and sinker with all my mind. Getting it deep inside my heart and guts is the dilemma, but it gets better day by day. So much of what tracy said in her posts, as well as the comments left by others, just swirls round and round rattling my medulla oblongata, or something to that effect.

There are verses that seem to suggest we need to perform to some degree as demonstrating our maturity spiritually. There are verses that suggest we can never , no way no how ever do anything in and of ourselves to gain spiritual maturity let alone perform to some imagined level of expectation. Choice. God gives us choice as created beings made in His image. Does He impact that choice or do we come to it on our own as He leaves us breadcrumbs to leave as clues for us to discover.

Sharing our faith. O how law and grace battle each other here!!!! is not the Great Commission the trumpet call and charge to every believer to make sure you witness to anyone and everyone you meet about Jesus because He could come back anytime- don't want to be responsible for not sharing and letting someone go to hell. Ok a lil on the dramatic side there but you get the point. Evangelism, when done out of a sense of law and obligation becomes like a high pressure salesman trying to make you buy. Much worse actually because thr stakes are your eternal destiny!!!! Does every conversation need to have a witnessing component to it??? Is that what God and Jesus expect of us as zealous followers, obeying at all costs??? I keep hearing *they will know we are christians by our love* and not by how much we tried to convert them. Although this begs the question- is not sharing the Gospel loving as we are called to love??? Things to ponder.

Grace. I cannot earn it. It is free. It is undeserved. God never holds it back,regardless of whether i can realize it or not. Soak deep inside me, so deep. Others who care to share struggles accepting this very amazing grace??? So good He provides it no matter our inability to *get it* WOW!!!