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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Monday, June 09, 2008

Fairy Tale Shattered

Off to New Jersey they went, proud parents, brand new baby and his mother all in a cramped ford station wagon. A quick aside about the times, it was 1960 when they went with a group of privates and nurses to a lil coffee shop to eat. One of the nurses happened to be black, and was told she could not eat where all the others were being served. With no hesitation all of them got up and left. 1960 Texas, prejudice very much alive and in the open. Ok, as they were traveling back to NJ they passed through what i believe were the Smoky Mountains. It was kinda dark and foggy, maybe even raining. A parakeet was in the car as well, and his mother was loudly saying the rosary in hopes for Divine protection. He had no qualms of telling her to be quiet and say her roasry to herself. Ah what wonderful beginnings for the boys first adventures with this family he had been sent into!!!

New Jersey turned out to be not that bad a place. There are actually many beautiful areas in jersey, i mean after all it is called the garden state!!! Palisades Park,Saddleback Zoo.Seaside Heights, Asbury Park,Sandy Hook, going to the Worlds Fair. Just a few of the fun places gone to in jersey. A perk of having a cop for a dad happened when i went to an autograph signing for Cleon Jones, who just happened to be my favorite baseball playerm left fielder for the Mets. We were way far back but after a quick flash of his badge all of a sudden we were close to the front of the line. Pretty cool stuff!!!!

i experienced my very first time in a hospital at 4, needing to get a tonsillectomy to get rid of the incessant sore throats and ear aches i had almost nonstop. I can remember laying on the gurney, in a hallway awaiting a nurse to take me into the operating room. I recall as the mask was placed over my nose and mouth that the gas did smell like nail polish. I guess before i knew it, it was over and I got icecream, so it was survivable.

I had pictured my parents falling in love as much like a fairytale,especially with the ugly spectre of cancer being present. They were not about to let such a thing stand in the way of embracing love. As my dad settled into his police career and my mom one of being a nurse, he underwent a few operations to remove cancer that had shown up various places,a mutual decision on their part to not share this with the boy or his little sister,seeking to prevent worrying them I'm sure. Time passed and at one of their normal doctors visits they were told amazing news. If the cancer did not reappear anywhere by a certain timeframe most likely it would never return again!!!! HOLY COW!!! I cannot even imagine the rush that they both felt upon hearing this news. Could it be true??? Would this happen??/ An amazing hope to cling to!!!! Time went on, no cancer, closer and closer to their special date!!!! Almost there .................... WHAM!!!!

While out playing in snow on a winter day he somehow fell. Didn't get hurt really but did feel a twinge in his back after so went in just to be safe. The most horrible news of all- a spot showed up on xray. The cancer had come back!!! So close to the time when he was supposed to be free and clear. Not only did it come back, it spread like a wildfire. It was skin cancer malignant melanoma. No magic fairydust to make it all go away. No miraculous cure. He lived life to the fullest as long as he had it taking a summer trip to california so he could take his kids to disneyland. His lasting memory being one of a great time together with his family. He made detective. He worked until his body could not handle it anymore. In august of 1969, this brave cop passed on into eternity. Safety Security Fairytale ending???? More to come soon

7 Comments:

At 3:48 AM, Blogger Gypsy said...

Life can certainly be cruel at times and what a sad ending for a very brave man. I feel I understand you a little better after reading your story in this format Bobby. Wonderful.....

 
At 7:37 AM, Blogger Becky; said...

Thanks Robert.....hope there's more....

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Robert said...

gypsy- thank you so much lovely lady. I was hoping writing in this manner would do just that, so love the pics and stories about your girls dancing at your place xx

becky0 there is alot more still to come I am blown away by some of what I read of your latest posts at your place. You are definitely moving deeper and deeper into the place where you have been praying and seeking to get to. I cant wait to see the challenges you will take on in days ahead :)

 
At 12:27 AM, Blogger Awareness said...

HI Robert........Sorry it's been a long time since I left you a comment.....

Reading parts of your story and knowing how much the death of your father has truly impacted your heart and soul, I am left with a deeper understanding of you, and also of the fact that our inner work and our pursuing journey to finding a relationship with the Holy Spirit is acutely impacted by the external events in our lives.

As much as our most important journey is an inner one, it is the life we live with loved ones in our lives that affects and tests our faith.

These are some of my thoughts while reading your posts.

Take care out there!!

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger Robert said...

hi dana- I have read many of your posts you have done recently and some aree just so uplifting and inspiring dana I need to gather my thoughts and leave them fro you as well I really appreciate what you are saying here. It is an inner journey in so many ways but is so impacted by outward relationshipes with family and friends Writing this way helpes me to gain a fresher understanding for myse3f as well on how to carry on forward if that makes sense Always so good to hear from you my friend and i enjy so much seeing you other places like our precious mate gypsy

 
At 6:06 AM, Blogger OneDaisy said...

I had some catching up to do! This one had me choked up. Beautiful.

 
At 9:59 PM, Blogger Pam Hogeweide said...

such deep sorrow captured here from a little boy's heart in a grown man. i cannot imagine losing a parent at such a young age. thanks for sharing your sacred memories with us...

 

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