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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Safe and Secure

A very mixed breed of neighborhood it was. Small city in New Jersey in the mid-60's. Such a turbulent time,although he would not learn this till years later. it felt so friendly and comfortable in this small block. So many relatives so close by. People sitting on their porches at night visiting and watching kids play, the chimes of the good humor man coming around the corner. Mothers running out, purse in hand with several kids in tow, all sreaming for ice cream. At night, in the backyard chasing fireflys with glass jars. Punks burning with that odorous scent, hoping to chase mosquitos away. A nurse and a cop, what better combination of careers for parents could a boy ask for??? Safety and security, medicine and the law. All was well in this little place in jersey.

Riot. Sniper. These were scary words. The calm,lazy everyday life of irvington had erupted into flashes of violence and strife. He had never gotten to meet a black person as yet in his young life. Come to think of it, he really only had encountered mostly white people in his surroundings. He as full german, and had italian and irish relatives, but never had come across any other ethnic groups, except for seeing them on tv. Racial tensions flamed the riots he learned, and he heard angry diatribes by his uncle when all the kids were sent downstairs to play while the adults *talked* For some reason his uncle had a seeming hatred for black people. The boy never ever heard as to why. Just stories that it had something to do with fights while in school. The boy was very fortunate his parents held to no deep prejudices, and when going to drive-ins and playing with other kids in the playground before the movie. He didn't see difference, just another kid to play with. Even in this troubled time, in which his father was caught in the midst as he was an irvinton police officer. He still felt and really was for the most part, safe and secure. This would soon change.

His dad had been a good football player in high school. He was the center. had to be quick,strong,able to take punishment. The boy was tall for his age, but didn't quite grow into his body easily. He tended to be a lil clumsy,awkward and was definitely on the shy side. He tended to be cautious and a lil oversensitive. This mirrored in many ways his grandmother who lived in the house and was a virtual babysitter as both parents worked. She was a huge influence, one that had very major ramifications that went on years after she had passed away. Safe and secure so wanted and sometimes such a prison instead of a sanctuary.

So much fun to watch football on tv with his dad. Roll on the floor and play, act out moves he saw the football players do. One night his dad had his shirt off and the boy noticed a huge red scar very close to the middle of his chest, so close to the heart. What was that from???/ His dad and mom came up with an answer that they said in a joking way, laughing about it as though it were nothing to worry about. He felt a relief hearing that it was nothing really bad or to worry about. What he did not know thn was how his parents had held things back, the real reason for the scar was something that would prove to be a tremendous blow to his having safety and security. More soon.

I hope this was written in an interesting style. Just an attempt to write about personal events with major emotional trauma in a different way than usual. Hope to hear what you think, may it be yea or nay. All comments wanted.


At 6:00 AM, Blogger OneDaisy said...

You have me waiting for more. I loved it Robert.

At 7:12 AM, Blogger Becky; said...

I'm hooked

At 7:39 AM, Blogger Smitty said...

Good stuff Robert. I'm interested to see where this story goes next. I think I have some idea, but I will enjoy reading your thoughts and feelings related to that event.

Thanks for your comments over on my blog. Part 2 should be up soon.

At 6:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OHGOSH!! Blogger ate my comment again!!! I said for the 3rd time!

I cannot wait to read more... thanks for checking on me while I was away!!

Waiting for more of your posts like this!!!


At 5:35 AM, Blogger Gypsy said...

Wonderful stuff bobby Bear? Is this your story?

At 7:15 PM, Blogger Robert said...

sweet gypsy- yes it is in a way I hope expresses feelings and struggles in a different kind of way :)

nettie,becky,smitty and cinder- thank you all so much for the encouraging words!!! You all are so expressive in such great ways on your own pages, so glad you can come by here and enjoy my lil attempts at a moving way of storytelling


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