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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


Thank you to all who have commented on my *story* I have been unveiling lately, as well as to all who stop by and visit. I have been wrestling with a really nasty cold last 2 weeks, sometimes my energy is zapped. It is quite interesting to me the way writing in a narrative manner about my own life can provide new insights emotionally to some key events. One theme I am reminded of that I have tried to keep a stranglehold on from a very young age was control. I guess that is pretty common to most of us, though it may be more severely sought after by some than others. Wanting to control events and circumstances so they do not cause pain and destructive damage. Of course the pursuit of this control is chased after from a very limited focus,as well as a narrow emotional place.

Focus. Such a strong word with solid meaning. Where will the focus be??? So wanting it to be on the positive, on loving,caring,sharing,serving,encouraging,giving. Too often it goes to the negative,avoiding pain,hurt,risk,,exposure. it seems so easy to focus on the good when reading peoples stories, when seeing needs so many have and the wonder of sharing and growing together. But then so quickly can come self-doubt,inner conflict,fear of being hurt or rejected or a host of other things.

Jesus gives the ability to focus on the good and to actually BECOME the good. Problem is who He is and how He encounters us has been and can be so distorted and messed with, especially by ones who would say they were doing the best to make it the *rightway* So many twists and turns by individuals,communities,cultures,churches have occurred down through history. So good to know He is abounding in lovingkindness,grace,mercy as well as justice. He allows for the focus to continually be redirected where it most fits.


At 2:52 PM, Blogger Tracy Simmons said...

Robert, you are so right about the control piece. It's so funny how even though we really cannot protect ourselves, we still keep on trying, don't we? We humans can be a bit crazy at times!


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