Stops and Starts

None of us have a corner on the WHOLE truth. We have access, via Gods grace, to the Truth, but seeing as how we get this access through a skewed filter, it is safe to say we all have bits and pieces which will elude our grasp until we are in glory.

I have fought with the illusion of perfection for a long time. I wonder if we all have to some extent. The idea that since God is holy and perfect He asks that of me as well. Of course the verse which means holy also is defined as mature. Scripture is filled with the declarations of our total failure to achieve holiness and perfection, which is exactly why Jesus came and fulfilled it as only He could. Yet I still held onto my illusion. I sometimes wonder about how much of a spiritual schizophrenia I have had going on, and that lays out there like a cloud waiting for anyone to fall upon it. Calvinist teaching says God determined everything, because He is All-Powerful and ALL-Knowing. He created beings who He knew would reject His plan for them, created them that way knowingly, and created them knowing they would end up in absolute misery for eternity because they did what they were created to do, which was to reject His plan for them. But, they live their entire lives hearing and reading of how God is Love and seeks to lead them back to Himself and experience the intimacy of a love relationship with He who created them. Wait though, this relationship is impossible because they are predetermined to reject Him and His offer and to end up apart from Him and His love for all eternity because He created them that way. DOH!!!!!!

Can you see how that kind of logic would cause a bit of confusion and consternation??? I do not ascribe to that idea but i must say it has messed with my head more than a time or 2 as i have battled my personal demons which wage war as I pursue the upward call amidst my weak fleshly failings. I have alot more in my head somewhere to attempt to say on here regarding the struggles I detailed in the last several posts. Just praying to think it through and be as genuine and concise as possible, touching places that need to be in a way that heals and encourages and that leads me to become free and more free as i journey on. I am very thankful life is not one long line going upward. I have had wayyyyyyyy too many stops and restarts to have any tangible hope if that ever vertical line weree to be the only route. Happy weekend all!!