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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Thursday, October 30, 2008

TV and Comic Books

I have been reading Dan Allender's book * The Healing Path* A very solid book on how God leads us to the healing path even in the midst of personal pain and suffering. He had one chapter where he spoke of a man who had been hurt in life and who sought escape and solace thru tv and comic books. WOW I could have been that man!!!! I stopped ny previous stories about my own life back in 3rd grade. 3rd grade was a very tough year. I realized as i thought back, my dad died in august of 69. 3rd grade began in sept of 69. Hmmmmm I wonder if there is any cause/effect there much??? 1973 was another hard year. We moved from jersey to california in the summer of 73. I had gotten strep throat the last week of school before we moved. i never got to say goodbye to any schoomates. I didnt get to say a real goodbye as i had wanted to people on my block due to the sickness either. Especially this girl named Theresa whom i had the biggest crush on. Ah well cest la vie. The Mets played a big role in these years too. In 69 of course they were the Amazin Mets and managed to come from the cellar to win the World Series. My dad and i were big Mets fans and my mom made sure to let me follow them closely as it was a way to identify with my dad as well as to find something fun to focus on. In 73, Wille Mays had become a Met. Arguably the best player to ever play the game- a Met!!!! They again went to the World Series but didn't win.

I have spoken here about the hell that 7th and grade was for me. A new kid with a jersey accent in southern california. Shy,soft-spoken but a tall strong body. face covered in acne. I endured nonstop taunting and bullying everyday for 2 years. I never felt like those kids at Columbine or some of the other kids who got guns and killed their tormentors. I think i turned the anger inward. Somehow i kept a cheerful spirit even though it was nonstop headache from the time school started till it ended. I would come hime from school and turn on the tv, writing down the contents of every episode i watched as though it were a doctoral thesis. I read comic books voraciously and wrestling. AH YES PRO WRESTLING!!! I found a true escape to release my anger and aggression via the wrestlers!!!! I will never forget having the chance to shake Andre the Giants hand one night at a match in Long Beach!!!!

I had a good convo with a fellow sunday school leader in my church the other night. We began talking about various theological ideas he had concerning satan, adam and eve and all that. We ended up talking about how to make our class more relational. He pointed out how long the congregation had been mired in a quicksand of slowness and resistance to changing and being open relationally. There is one guy who leads the class at times and just lectures, never really allowing for any questions or interaction by those in class. He has a hard time with what he calls, *touchy-feely* stuff. Another likes to keep things on a purely intellectual level and has a ver hard time dealing with emotional/relational issues. We talked about almost everyone in the class including ourselves, and could easily see how we all had various pain we experienced in life. *Risking Openness* was my title i had for seeking to lead a group where that would happen. He and I engaged in a little of that while talking that night. I had a moment where i was talking to him about my dad and i felt myself about to break down, but i felt it was not the right time to do that and was able to hold it together.

I don't need tv and comic books now. I am very thankful they were there back in 7th and 8th grade!!!! When I teach next i plan to have everyone say who they are, if they went to college and what major they had, what their work was, and say 1 thing they were glad they did and 1 thing they were sad they did. Nothing cataclysmic, just something. I hope this will be a small step to doing more in time, sharing relationally and doing the *one anothers* that are contained in the Bible. I know sharing on here and on others blogs has been a big help. May it just grow and grow. Hope to add more to my story soon!!!


At 7:09 AM, Blogger Becky said...

'healing path' Allender really writes well and touches a place that is so raw and draws us to opening ours up... amazing book, will be anxious to hear more of your take-aways from it.

At 4:32 PM, Blogger Milly said...

good for you guys trying to open a path in class.

the loss of a parent really is hard, I was blessed to have my mom for a long time compared to you. One of my friends lost both parents at an early age to illnesses. those experiences shape our lives. But the don't have to control them. Keep writing I think you're going to find out how great you are.

At 7:19 PM, Blogger Gypsy said...

It's such a shame that the sharing of feelings isn't encouraged more. I think the world would be a much better place if there was no taboo on emotions.


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