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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Are Eggs Ever Really Over-Easy??

I prefer my eggs scrambled but actually just a silly way to say not much is ever easy. A few of us at my church got together to study on the nature and meaning of the kingdom of God. The guy who prepared the study has some interesting views that are far from the tradiitional interpretation but that's all good. One of the others tends to have a very literal approach and so he came across like the devil almost to her. It wasn't easy as we went through it but it hopefully it was good for both to hear each other share their perspective.

Why does God allow so much pain and suffering??? That is a neverending query which has gone on for eons. I hope i am learning a few new answers to this now. Freedom really has a big price and that price is pain and suffering. The freedom we love to enjoy is also abused by those who have ulterior and negative motives for actions they take. I wonder what it would be like if we could zap everyone anytime they acted in a harmful way?? Would it change their character??? Would it be a benefit to us overall???

I wrestle with these questions. I wonder by what good fortune am i still here breathing??? I feel the burden of bad choices and actions as well as thoughts and feelings i have had. I am uplifted by right choices,actions thoughts and feelings i have had. A mixture of good and bad wow imagine that!!!!! I have a weird mind at times can you believe it??? I know my own imagination makes pain worse than the actual pain when it happens. That is how it wa with my angioplasty. That is how the dentist seems to be usually. Yes some pain is excruciatingly bad regardless how your imagination felt. I am puzzled at how important a role our own attitudes and beliefs play in our unique experience of pain. I have driven myself crazy trying to figure out the point of pain at times and trying to outguess,outfox and outrun it. All the time knowing I was chasing my tail really. Trust. has to come down to trust.

I do trust God. I don't trust God. I want to trust God. I don't want to trust God. Just like the centurion- I believe Lord help my unbelief!!!!


At 6:09 AM, Blogger Becky said...

wrestle on brother.....:)

At 6:17 PM, Blogger Milly said...

Just keep swimming!


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