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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Monday, June 14, 2010

Control- Who Has It

I love the incredible creativity that permeates the blogland!!! So many minds discussing so many things in original ways. How can this be unless One who is able to create such beings with such abilities exists???

Calvinism has always given me a sense of dread, because it, to my mind, turns God into our enemy. I am sure that this raises the ire of those who hold to it, that is not my intention. I have always seen Gods sovereingty upheld as His highest attribute by calvinism. He can do however He chooses with us because He made us and He is allpowerful and He owes us no explanation for anything He does. This is true on the face of it, but Gods own actions and self-description goes against this. God became one of us in the Person of Jesus Christ, He did not seek or display power, but servanthood,grace and love. Yes, He meted out judgment and justice and lived holiness and righteousness, but His attitude in doing so, was never one of *i am God so i will do as i choose i dont care what you think* He came to save sinners, totally depraved sinners,and the elect fall into that category as well.

I battle fear, and i think the bottom line of it has always been control. A desire for it, a way to have control over the uncontrollable. I seek for it even though it is out of my grasp. I think all of us have this penchant in us, is this not what superstitions are??? We believe the lucky rabbits foot will give us an edge on something?? Speaking in a general way here. I believe that God has ultimate control and as God He better. The trouble is aspects of that control involve things I would rather not experience. Pain,loss,and ultimately death. The scariest times are when I have felt an impending sense of death and that i could do nothing to stop it if it chose to happen. Scarier because I have the added fear of somehow alienating God because I have let myself seek to avoid these things He called me to, as He calls us all to. Hopefully, He breaks through my distortions and faulty thinking and washes me in His love and grace in a felt way.

Holy Almighty God- You and You alone possess ultimate control. Help me to continually trust and obey You no matter how difficult i find it to be and how dark my own limitations may make it look on and off everyday. Thank You for being above all I can ever ask or think and that Yours is the power and the glory forever and ever Amen

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