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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Thursday, June 03, 2010


Don't you like that feature when playing a video game, watching a video or am mp3, listening to music??? I wish life had a pause button. Pause long enough to correct mistakes and errors and somehow delete them from memory, or at least emotionally anyway. I wonder what it would be like to be like Spock from Star Trek??? He was free from emotion basically, but he seemed very affable and friendly most of the time. He was logical but not arrogant. It is interesting to wonder if he experienced a kind of joy simply from his mind???

I love to read peoples blogs. I often wonder though, what is lying underneath the person??? I choose to share my inner self on here as my primary topic because I think and feel it is a good outlet and lets me put into words things that otherwise just tumble around my brain. Also, to get feedback from anyone who reads and hopefully provide something to someone who may never comment but still were encouraged in some way by reading my words. I do wonder if sometimes it would be good to focus more outwardly as i see so many do. Focus on subjects which affect all of us and which call us to response and reaction. I wonder if the people writing these blogs experience the same angst as i so often do??? Do they struggle at times with whether or not they *get* what life is to be??? Do they have fears,worries,tensions,doubts and other struggles that make them feel like they are in quicksand at times???

Life really is a paradox of simple and complex. Can we pause and live in simple for an extended time??? Hope to hear any thoughts anyone has on how we all are.


At 4:33 PM, Blogger Aphra said...

I wonder about what is lying underneath people in 'real' life too. How do we know when we 'really' know someone?

At 12:46 AM, Anonymous mariam said...

Hi Robert

I think it is good to focus outward as well as inward. One thing I have learned about personal writings - whether diaries, journals or blogs - is that they do not really tell you anything more than what the person writing them was thinking about or feeling or imagining at that point in time. It is a mistake to imagine that we "know" people from their writings, not just because they are projecting a persona that they want people to accept, but because they themselves don't really know themselves and opinions about people and events that they express one day may completely change the next.

As useful as blogs and diaries are at allowing us to express ourselves, they are only a snapshot (and sometimes a very distorted one) of one point in time. They are not a window to the soul or the person. I've recently decided to destroy all the papers I have kept that I wouldn't want others reading if I was dead or incompacitated. When I read through some of them the other night, even I didn't recognize myself.


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