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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Life Within Life

Ferris Bueller said life comes at you fast. How true he was. I have tried forever it seems to pull the brakes on life but it never seems to work. Philosophers and Theologians do their best to comprehend life in all its entirety, but thankdully few have the umitigated gall and presumption to declare they have a handle on it all. Unless they possess narcissistic personality disorder. LOL

Free-will vs determinism will pretty much be a neverending topic of discussion until God makes it all perfectly knowm, IF He chooses to do such a thing. Some of us are a lil more neurotic than others, some maybe a lil leaning toward semi-psycho.....functional of course. The notion that because all is decided beforehand by God thus making everything that happens Gods doing has always hit a sour note deep inside. Sooooooooo God gave my dad cancer when he was only 18 and had him get multiple surgeries to remove it as it spread, then he had a window of opportunity to be free of it hopefully for life but a month before the time was to expore the cancer came back??? Thus killing him soon thereafter because it just spread throughout his entire body??? Not quite something I jump for joy thinking was all part of Gods *plan*!!!!

I drive myself crazy alot trying to make heads or tails of it all. Why him?? Why not me??? Why has so much of the world existed in abject poverty virtually since God made us exist??? I end up caught in a maze of wonderment inside my mind and do not know really how to escape it. I can sympathize with workaholics, alcohol and drug abusers and such in a way, because they seek to escape their minds!!! Such a relief to just make the mental machine that is relentless turn OFF!!!!!!

Focusing on love is a superb goal. Why would any of us not want love to be the centerpiece of how we understand life and its ultimate meaning??? Yet..... do we not face that very challenge every day we live??? Is it not a moment by moment needed reminder simply because our humanness makes it so??? Just pretty much thinking out loud here. Hope to do more of it more often on here. Hope some stop by and check it out :)

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