pursuing persevering

Sometimes its hard to think of what to title these posts. Im so thankful for all who have prayed for me means so much and provides support encouragement and strength. I am so humbled almost everytime i read so many of the blogs out here. So many people achieving such amazing goals as well as setting examples of how to stand in faith and patience and to keep keeping on. it amzes me alot of times the way my perception takes twsits and twirls and seems to be like a windstorm moving all kinds of ways. So focused on pusruing God His kingdom and His righteousness.... zoom tangled up in old defeatist tapes playing nonstop iside my mind zoom happy and enthused by reading or hearing something so positive and so good zoom back down struggling with a sin or sins no wonder the Apostle Paul said who will rescue me from the body of this death???

I get caught up in perfectionism so much, as many do. Must have all my stuff totally together or cant do it at all. Of course in reality only One has ever had it totally together but my irrational side doesnt want to hear that. I have always liked Philippians as my favorite book of the Bible because i saw it as the ultimate encouragement book. i now have a different favorite Hebrews. Hebrews is all about Christ. Shows His absolute supeiority above everything from angels to man to creation to the Law and to life and death. Jesus Christ IS the MAN!!!!!!!!! Key thing in that fact is He doesnt care about the fact of His title!!! He doesnt have an ego, He doesnt seek adulation, He doesnt take any advantage of His position in any way shape or form He *did not desire equality with God a thing to be grasped* WOW!!!! DOUBLE TRIPLE WOW!!!!! Look at adam and eve in the garden along with that snake looks like they wanted a lil *equality with God* I know inside i do!!! I want to have His knowledge and power oh yea to make it easier and so i dont have to have faith i can know it all beforehand. Im speaking of a part of me here, a part that never thinks that stuff in that way so rational and thought-out but the implications are there. Jesus is even more amazing in that He had all the power and glory and majesty and He purposely,willingly,obediently surrendered it in order to become a servant to all of us!!!!

I pray You will help me to apply what i see in You Lord Jesus to let Your attitude become my own no matter what help it to happen more and more each day let it sink in and grow roots so i will keep growing as roots of a plant thank you that You are so patient forgiving merciful kind and loving *Hear my cry O God tend unto my prayer when my heart is overwhelmed lead me to the Rock that is higher than I*