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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Hide and Seek

I always had fun playing this game as a kid. Not sure which one I liked more hiding or seeking. My approach/avoid title made me think of this in relation to God. Alot of times it can be compared to playing hide and seek I hide or try to hide when I have done something i know hurts Him or when i just want to be *doing my own thing* I seek Him when I really need Him as well as when I want to be closer and want to have Him lead and guide me and just be there assuring me He is real and He is a Personal God who loves. Alot of deeper undercurrents affect how i relate to and seek God as well. The interplay between our feelings and thoughts is one of the great wonderments we all consider since creation. I do have particular aspects of this that i contemplate more lately.

How does God operate within my thoughts/feelings?? What parts are HIm and the Holy Spirit as opposed to which is me and how does that let my freewill stay active?? Be not afraid is a oftrepeated command and exhortation given by Jesus. Be strong and of good courage was Gods call to His people in the OT. Are these statements referring to feelings and thoughts??? How do we make it happen??? Why are there times when a peace that can only come from God fills us and other times we may feel completely alone and apart from God???

I get all wrapped up in a pretzel of my own internal making when I let my mind race through my fears/rebelliousness/pain/laziness in relation to God.Jesus and His Word. Believing and following Jesus is like air its there and requires no questioning it just is real. That is the way my mind processes alot especially when i go into periods of doubt or depressive thoughts or pain and such. Then i look around and see that actually the vast majority of the world are NOT christians. That just is so weird to knw that and wonder how its possible. God does love me and wants me to know Him in personal relationship far more than i can ever imagine. Why have i let distortions and deceptions and errors fill my mind and cause me to turn from the very One who made me and who wants to enjoy me in a way i can scarcely imagine but is mich greater than anything that can happen in this existence. Why does God allow it?? Does He work through all of it to bring me into that true relationship that He made us for before the fall.

So those are my ramblings on a late friday night. So good to see that alot of others have similar issues going on and we do encourage each other in carrying on the journey.


At 7:47 PM, Blogger Smitty said...

It's nice to be back in the blogging world again. I am trying to get caught up on all the blogs I have missed over the last week and read your latest post. Why does God allow these persistant mazes of thinking interuppt that which we know to be true? I don't have the answer other then to say that He does allow us to go through these times in our lives.

I think that for me, God operates in my thoughts and feelings by the constant reminder that He never leaves me and that He puts people in my life who support me each step of the journey, no matter how nasty it may get. Even though I may choose to seperate myself from Him, He never leaves. I dont' get it, but I know that much is true. Know that I'm walking right with you on your journey.


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