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pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Just Trust

I read a post by someone a lil while ago talking about pain and suffering and how they handle it, they heard a voice which they attributed to being God whispering to them, *don't be afraid of anything from Me* Part of me leaped inside with excitement at rfeading that, God was actually personally giving His Word of comfort and reassurance. Another part of me freaked out because He said *anything* that comprises a whole LOT!!!! Job is case study numero uno to show God doesn't hold back when allowing tribulation to occur.

I was at work the other morning the other day,all of a sudden I felt a lil something in my head and thoughts started running throgh my mind, * be ready if this is it trust Him its ok He will be there the whole time if you die now* Is that crazy??? Do you ever get sudden thoughts like that???? It was so surreal because I tried to just keep working but I started feeling the panic building and i wanted to keep my composure. i thought of my prayers to trust Him no matter what and even if He slay me. Quickly the feelings left and my mind settled down,I went along with my day as normal. It did cause me to reflect though and realize that I cannot control things in many ways, but I can seek to control my reactions.

I love to read other peoples blogs and see how they handle life and everything that goes on in their particular world. I learn so much and realize their are so many ways to view life,God and the interaction we have together. Experiences we all undergo in life can greatly affect how we see God and how He relates to us. I know for me fear guilt and shame have been major issues over the course of living due to various happenings and my own way of responding internally. Grace, love forgiveness and peace also have played major roles, just happens to be the painful ones get highlighted so often because they have such strong impact. Sharing on here really does provide a great release,especially hearing that others do undergo similar things. It can be so hard to decide how open to be,wondering the reaction people will have. It is a risk putting yourself out there but I have found has given more than enough rewards in the encouragement and reflection provided by so many people.

A huge key I need to remind myself over and over is that God knows growth and transformation are always ongoing and can take place in bits and pieces. I know internally He has helped me move beyond where I was a few years ago and He will stay with me as the process keeps going. Just trust is a good mantra for me.


At 8:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMGOSH!! This title caught my attention so quick! I am sorry I have not be around.. Lack of blogging is making me more into a relaxed person, which I was not for awhile!

Trust, hmmmm Something I need to have a little more of! The only trust I can say that I truly have is trust in G-d. I have a hard time trusting.

I had a spot of bad luck while growing up and it is still coming back to haunt me, I just ummm cannot seem to shake it during relationships,family and friends!!

I need to learn to just let go, but How can I? I am open for suggestions......

I come and read here all the time but never respond... Sometimes your posts hit so close to home.. I just say amen and keep on moving!!


At 5:59 PM, Blogger Robert said...

Hey Cinder!!!

I know what you mean about childhood wounds not letting go. Trust doesn't come easy, sometimes even with Him. I know for me sharing certain things on here has helped increase trust and especially sharing more openly in convos with other people who *get it* Thank you for stopping by my sweet adorable friend I know if something hits close to home it can be hard to say anything. I totally appreciate anytime you stop by and commenting is icing on the cake hope your enjoying a fantastic 4th!!!


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