grace abound

A very white Christmas here in portland oregon it was. We do not have snow happen here like this usually,thank goodness lol I recall very heavy snow growing up in New Jersey but i was a kid and it meant NO SCHOOL YAY!!!!!!!1 lol No worrying about driving in it. I am very thankful that I got a dodge caravan for a very good price from a family in my church it has traction tires and while people were chaining up and having major hurdles going thru the snow and slush, my van just ramrodded thru it with no problem!!!! It felt very fun to blast through the muck and have hardly any trace of it being slippery or icy at all!!!

Christmas was good this year with my family. We have some things going on which i am not at liberty to discuss on an open forum as this, but which are very challenging and have been a source of woundeness and pain for all. Despite that, we all mamaged to celebrate together and be thankful and joyous that no matter what the obstacles ultimately love binds us together and grace and peace overshadow the darkness that seeks to threaten our wellbeing. One of the most amazing things I see God doing in His Word and in life as it is lived is how He really does make good out of a completely hopeless seeming situation or life event of a person, family or community!!!! The story of Job serves as a prime example, and also joseph in the OT, he of the coat of many colors. Just when it appears all hope is gone, God can transform things in such a way you are just made to stand in awe.

i am not saying this in a trite way or to gloss over anyones pain,hurt or difficulty in some cliche to create a warm fuzzy. I share from my personal pain on here to also share how He works and stays with me even in the darkest of days, and i have known a few of them!!! I* shared with a friend as we talked one day how I often wonder the truthfulness of some *testimonies* that are given where people claim God rescued them from a hopeless existence and they have never had anything but sheer joy and peace in Him ever since. I cannot claim that, not even close!!!! I HAVE recieved His help in anazing ways throughout my life. I also have found ways to slip and slide back into old ways and old habits which cause me to realize my limitations and profound weakness. Hmmmm i actually have limitations??? I am profoundly weak??? Will somebody alert my ego or inner parent/child whatever you call it lol Point being, I am constantly reminded and sometimes boldly confronted with my need for the unlimited and astounding goodness of the grace of God!!!!

I have been discovering how true it is recently to go a vrry long time with blinders to seeing something a certain way or have a genuine awareness of a triat or something that just never was there before. I hope to post on working through these new realizations and a bit about all that goes on internally in dealing with addiction. I am so thankful for so many great people who help me to accept I can share my voice on here in ways that i never realized before, sometimes discovering a thought or feeling as i share which i was not conscious of before!!!!

Here's to a rollicking,adventurous.joy inspiring and love enhancing 2009!!!