.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}

pursuing the upward call with fear and trembling

just a 44 year old man seeking to share my meanderings with the world at large or the blogosphere at small

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

day by day

Godspell has alot of good songs, this is one of them. It also happens to be wise counsel, take things day by day. It is hard when you have areas of life, emotional/relational/spiritual, that you thought had been dealt with but surface again and reveal more unfinished business. I have someone extremely close to me going through what can only be described as a hellish ordeal. My heart breaks but due to whats involved I cannot do much other than be there with my love and support. Just hurts, really hurts.

I am twisted inside over the areas I have prayed about, struggled over and have had so many prayers offered up and encouragement given. I want to love and be loved. I have always and very much still struggle with fear. Everytime I look at writings to aid me in overcoming fear I see fear/love paired as opposites. It says by that love should conquer and replace fear. Ok, well, I have lived almost 47 years now. I have clearly struggled so much with fear in various ways for different reasons. I have loved and been loved, does my fear somehow dicount my love and my ability to love??? It is that all or nothing deal again. Does love grow in the ability to give it and recieve it over an entire lifetime??? It makes me feel stuck inside. I want to love and overcome the fear yet I beat myself up for even having the fear to begin with and just how to let God take it and live just overcoming it day by day.

i guess at the root of my dilemma is, do all of you face the same struggle in your own ways??? I mean do you see and have a sense in your self of how you want to be and what the ideal is, yet you always see it lays just out of reach to where you want to be??? In a way I want to qualify this question because on one level it seems obvious. I mean it at the gut level though. Do you think/feel/believe life will always be a struggle to reach living in love as God wants for us and the realization of that allows for a peace to let worry go knowing its ok to accept the limits and frustrations of whatever it is that fights us in seeking to love???

I also hope to become stronger in making health decisions. I have type 2 diabetes as well as congestive heart failure and high blood pressure. Today I got another gout attack which had me wincing and wanting to be knocked out by morphine. Still need to drink water and only water as much as possible, but fight it and rationalize that I am barely over the line between type 2 and normal blood sugar. It wont be a fun thing if all of a sudden i hear my dr telling me my foot needs to be amputated due to diabetes worsening. For some reason i am way to good at denial of this. Maybe the pain of gout is a wakeup call. Help me to be more health-conscious O God. Thanks to all who inspire always by sharing your own journeys.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

keep hope alive

With accolades to Jesse Jackson, i do like that phrase and its meaning. I am in a maze right now it seems. So much that I have been taking in and being able to assimilate into myself. So much that still needs to be worked on and through. I have a lot of praise and gratitude to God for helping me to meet some wonderful people via blogging who have really been great helps. Many others are amazing helps even though we may never make contact, just by their own journeys being expressed.

I really feel even now more than ever before the tug of war between law and grace and how they fight each other. Law is absolute,no gray, has to be a certain way and that's it. Grace allows for freedom,growth,change,falling down and getting back up. I see tensions which I always have stirring deep inside but leak out more and more . On one hand we know following Christ is not about performance and trying to be *good enough* It is a love relationship. However, Jesus tells parables where the servants who accomplished something, who were *good performers*, recieved reward and the one who didnt was rejected. Jesus tells His followers if you love Him you will obey Him and keep His commandments. Faith is said to be a verb and not a noun, requiring action.

Then there is the parable of the workers, all recieved the same wage,regardless how much work they did in relation to each other. The thief on the cross is forgiven and told He will be with Jesus in Paradise, no actions done or performance just His acceptance of who Jesus was. I hope i am making my dichotomy and the tension of it clear. Legalism prevails so much around the world, and especially in the Church here in the USA. Lots of times it happens and the ones caught in it dont even realize or comprehend it. So many people share how they grew up caught in the web of legalism, obviously it has been an entrenched dysfunction for quite sometime.

Freedom IS scary. Isn't it??? To know you have the power to be all you were designed to be,to reach out and take on anything and everything that comes at you. The Israelites sure were scared by it. They had God use Moses to lead them out of slavery in egypt and into the Promised Land, even walking through the red sea to do it!!!! They ended up making an idol of a golden calf and wanting to go back to egypt!!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS???? Yes they were!!!! Freedom is a scary thing, but it is a breathtaking,wonderful, beyond ability to express kind of thing as well. For me I have deep emotional struggles with realizing freedom and grace and hope. The roots were set inside from several sources, both hereditary, environment and relational things that are involved. It feels silly to sit here and write about having such a lifelong struggle with fear of death and ability to accept grace and love myself, knowing I realize all this in my mind and live my life or have sought to live my life in accordance with knowing God who He says He is and Jesus gives me eternal life and seals it by the Holy Spirit in me. Love God with all of me, love my neighbor as myself. I mean how more clearcut can it get???? Funny how all through history every person who has ever lived seems to have had a problem with it. I hope this is clear here my struggle. I DO have hope and faith and i have love for myself and that wants to burst forth and be expressed openly like water in a fountain........ I just need to find the way to get out of His way and let Him lead me as He talks about in Psalm 23!!!!!! Can I get a witness from the congregation????? AMEN

Friday, February 22, 2008

context context context

The one word you hear from a real estate agent when asked whats most important in their job--------location!!!! As far as understanding Scripture goes, context is everything. As you have seen, like in my previous post about satan, I am seeing traditional concepts and beliefs about certain subjects in a whole new light. The Bible is very silent about the origin of satan. I mean we know the traditional understanding is that he was once an angel who fell because he wanted to overthrow God and place himself above God. Hmmmmm sounds alot like adam and his desire to be like God via eating of the tree of good and evil. The name satan in the hebrew and greek means adversary. The name demons means slanderers. Whenever anyone opposes God and His authority, are they not acting as His adversary and therefore being a satan??? Some ideas to ponder.

The context of the Bible is to a jewish audience. They were His chosen people and He created a covenant relationship with them. God is the maker of ALL creation, all people groups, animals and so on. He specifically chose the Israelites to be the ones He would use in order to reveal Himself to the entire creation. Language can be tricky, the word *world* is used many times throughout the Bible. The context determines how it is to be interpreted. We need to put on glasses of the audience God and Jesus were speaking to. They had a very solid understanding of what was meant by Jesus and the other writers of the New Testament, as well as fully knowing the Law and the Prophets. When *world* is used in the NT it means the world of the people according to covenantal understanding. It is the local world dominated by the Romans and the world of covenant relationship to God. It is not intended to mean the entire world,the whole planet. Back then those people would have no point of reference for taking *world* to mean the entire planet. I hope your all with me here, please ask for more clarification in comments or emails if you need it.

One of the most difficult aspects of all Christianity is eschatology, aka last things and end times. Futurism, aka premillennial dispensationlism, is the predominant view now and has been for a long time. The interesting thing is it did not come into existence until the 1800's!!!! Preterism, aka past fulfillment, was a view that was held by many in the early Church and down thru church history. Many atheists and skeptics point to Jesus declaring to His generation that He would return again before they passed away, as never having happened and thus Jesus lied. Even CS Lewis said this was the saddest blot on all of Christianity. Funny thing is, Jesus DID return!!! He came back in glory and judgment in 70AD when the Old Covenant was done away with and the Law and sacrificail system was abolished. Jesus made a New Covenant which restored all who believe in Him back into relationship with God and having eternal life. Look at Matthew, the olivet discourse. Jesus tells His disciples of his death burial and resurrection and His coming again. Why would He tell them this in the way He did if He really was meaning to speak to all of us 2,000 or so years in the future??? Jesus did NOT lie!!!! He came back, only it was not a physical return. No where does He say that it would be physical though again context context context. A book, *Like Father, Like Son* by Don Preston explains very thoroughly. He also has a website, eschatology.org where he has lots and lots of info you can explore and he has a forum where you can ask questions and challenge any idea and understanding.

I hope this whets many an appetite to search and find for fresh understanding as to what the Bible has to say. I hope anyone feels free to di8scuss any wonderings that come to their mind and please anyone who likes to send me and email, i love taling to anyone. I know this is somewhat brief but i hope to share more as time goes on and provide sources for anyone to further their own curiosity if they so choose.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Needing a Father

I have got about 4 or 5 books on losing your father and being fatherless. I lost my father in 1969, he was 30, I was 8. My sister was only 5. I have had a few discussion with a friend recently on how kids are affected by not having a father growing up. I know it definitely has effects, i think it is different for each person because our personalities, environments and influences are all so varied and multi-dimensional. I just came across a book by Donald Miller who wrote blue like jazz. It recieved many positive reviews on amazon. May decide to get it.

My mom lost her dad when she was young. She was raised by her uncle, as well as a stepfather. I know they were definitely not outwardly expressive types and not ones to demonstrate physical or verbal affection. My dad also lost his own father at a young age i believe, and his mom was an alcoholic and had many emotional issues. I can recall my dad being a very expressive man and he loved to wrestle around and play as well as be verbally accepting. I wonder about how I have been influenced by not having him present with me to guide me into the dos and donts of becoming a man.

I was told once by a counselor i had, that my deepest and most powerful fear was not of death, but of women. It seemed strange at the time, but i see where it made sense. I did not have many male role models growing up. i even was given a male teenager specifically in 4th grade just so I would have one. I don't recall him much except his name was Mr Mitchell and i think he was a good teacher. i was very shy always, even as a young kid. The girls in school somehow picked up on this and so i was easily made to be embarrassed by them if they chose to tease me in whatever way they wanted.

I have not had many girlfriends in my 46 years. I have had a few, but it didn't last long. I have always had a problem of my head being overwhelmed by *what if's* and worries about whether I could do what i needed to make a relationship work. Let alone the basic insecurities about my looks which i have shared on here many times. As time has gone on i learned ways to be more comfortable with girls and possibilities of relationship, but those deep, nagging fears still lie in the shadows, al;ways ready to reappear if need be. I really understand cyrano more and more. He had a deeply romantic soul, yet felt imprisoned within a physical body which prevented him from being able to express it and find a woman with whom he could be with. I find it very comfortable to write or talk on the phone with girls and express flirtation or romantic thoughts and expressions. Face to face is a whole other matter. I was engaged once so I managed it somehow lol

I was just touched inside by seeing donald millers book and some of the reviews it got. I thought of how I have struggled with God as my Father and even though I know He is way different from my earthly father, emotionally there have been distortions and misconceptions of how He feels about me and relates to me. I am so thankful and elated by so many special friends who have given me incredible wisdom,support,advice and encouragement in handling some of the struggles i share on here. That is a major reason why i love having discovered blogging. So many people I otherwise would never have met.

If anyone stops by who lost their father at a young age or if you have any thoughts about this, love to exchange emails. This is something I think is part of regrouping and beginning again in life, something i have heard all people go through at some point once they get older. I want a continual renewal. Sharing about my fears and my being stuck has helped to bring fresh winds. To assist in repenting of old things and turning a new direction to allow newness to surface and arise. Repenting is something that should happen all throughout life to stay vital and vibrant. All it means is to turn from something that hinders and brings us down and to turn and embrace something good, right and uplifting. Praise God He always is present and always seeks us to grow,mature and enjoy life as He intended it to be, knowing we may gfo through long periods of pain, hurt and bewilderment perhaps before we find the direction and path He laid out.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

This and That

Had my mail machine malfunction today. Makes time tend to slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww soooooooooooooo wayyyyyyyyyyyy downnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn yuk. Hate when time almost moves to a snails pace at work boringggggggggggggggggggg lol Gave me time to think,pray and contemplate though not bad things. Last post contained some stuff. I had a commenter ask me some very pertinent questions. I guess in many ways I have shame and guilt that are like magnets over my struggle with fear and death. Part of it that in all these years I rarely have had anyone tell me they have the same struggle. Usually it has been that they have found a peace and have no such fear. Or they tell me I am just neurotic or whatever, and many just give no response to it. In researching attitudes toward death it showed a whole lot of denial. It is pretty much the universal subject no one likes to thiok about or be forced to face. We all have to come to a realization about Jesus and His resurrection. A huge part of me aches that I haven't just let the Spirit just sweep me away and remove any and all semblance of fear. I think I have some shame in how I talk about having this fear. Why is it there and so huge like a dinosaur???/ I also have the piece of me that just wants to bare all and let God in His grace get me over the hump.

Life or death. Choose one. Who wouldn't choose life...................right??? Sure seems like alot of us are schizo then because we make choices for death many times a day. Oh it doesn't seem that way in bold neon light ways, but we do. We also choose life alot everyday. The apostle Paul talked about *doing the bad he didnt want to do and not doing the good he did want to do* He didn't extrapolate on this, so we are left to wonder. *By their fruits ye shall know them* is a verse in Scripture that talks about how to know what kind of a person someone is. Well according to Paul, who was one of the most amazing people in all the Bible, it isn't being sinless that is meant there because he obviously has *goodfruit* Is there a litmus test to knowing the *goodfruit*??? This is a question to be pursued more and so many more as well. I never know how many people stop in and read here. I am thankful fo any and all who do. It is very helpful to share myself on here. Persevere journey goes on.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Learning to Unlearn

Blessed be the Name of the Lord!!!! I love that song and I want that to be my hearts cry always. Being stuck is a bummer when it happens. I titled this post what i did because it is a prayer and a desire I want to have happen. I have stated ad nauseum on this blog my struggle with fear, particularly fear of death which also I think is linked to fear of abandonment. I think I felt like I had to identifyu this fear way back when i was young. For me having my dad die unexpectedly, because i didn't know he was terminally ill so it came as a total shock. I think my mind then saw the definite possibility that anyone could die at any moment, especially those closest to me like my mom or sister. I had other people in my life who were very close die. It had nothing to do with me but that irrational part of me let crazy thoughts float in my head. I have this thing where I feel like I wil be tested by God because of my fears and somehow i will crumble at the testing.

I don't know how to just let go and live fully realizing Gods love frees me from fear. I think a major stumbling block also is that I have been a believer since 16 and have struggled with fear which I had since I'm not sure what age. The Bible says perfect love casts out fear and as we get to know God better, fear melts away. See the dilemma??? Why has the fear stuck around like this, when i have sought to seek God more and more ??? This goes along with the being hard on myself part as well.

Another thing is as soon as I feel like I let it go I get a sense that a deathlike experience will happen and there i am, forced to face it and trust God will lead me through it. Am I supposed to feel a certain way??? Faith is not feelings, so does it matter if i feel like i don't want to go through any of these things yet they are inevitable. I want to rest in God and Jesus being with me always, Jesus suffered so how can I be so resistant and scared of it??? I want to let Him help me to have His peace transcend the fear so i can cease feeling/thinking of myself as *the one who fears death* anymore!!!! How to accomplish it???? I cannot will it, I cannot force it. God does it, He gives the peace. Help me let any and all barriers to recieving Your love grace and peace so I will live in gratitude always.

Monday, February 11, 2008

I wonder

I wonder why it is *getting stuck* seems to be a chronic occurrence. I love reading all the vast amounts of blogs here in the blogosphere and all the stages people are at in the journey of life. Some seem like they can just tackle anything at any time and come out better,wiser,stronger and more fulfilled. Some seem like regardless of what they do, hurdles and snags lay everywhere tripping them up. Others seem to stay in the middle and avoid getting too high or too low. Still even more it seems we can all experience these stages many times in a single day!!!!

I wish I had a device i could switch on and it would keep me in *Im blessed, life is great, God is good, nothing will stop me Im charging full speed ahead and letting joy and gratitude be all I experience and give at all times* Actually my *critical parent* in my head rattles off that I SHOULD have all this going on all the time. I have that constant chatter that reminds me of all the past ways I failed to do as I knew to, and how I might mess up in the future. I have been a christian for a longggggggggggggg time now shouldn't I have a LOT more maturity down pat by now and be over so many of these emotional problems and immature attitudes and actions??? So need to be able to forget about me, let all those fears go by realizing death is just a transition into a different dimension with God. I get so trapped by feelings. Feelings can be so incredible but they can be wrong and false as well!!!! I read a book where it was talking about the self, the ego and how it tries to keep itself protected saying *stay away from God Hes a killer* well of course He is....... killer of the self that is fallen so the new self united with Jesus can live!!!

Wrestling with God is a very good thing i will say once again. Talking about my struggles, no matter what they may be and how long i have had them doesn't matter. He is helping prune me and develop the good stuff within. Our entire lives are a battle to grow and will be till we get taken into glory. The whole *fast food* notion of our culture just doesn't work for spiritual growth. Stops and starts, forward 2 steps backwards 3 always pursue and persevere. I wonder if I answer my own questions while talking in these posts??? :)

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Thy will or my will

A lot of great discussions happen in blogland all the time. Amazing how many can happen every second and because we are mere mortals our ability to participate in the vast majority is severely limited. One of these discussions has been happening over at pam's place *how God messed up my religion*, concering the issue of hell and christian universalism. I am still pleasantly surprised to see how congenial and civil the discussion remained, nornally in all my years seeing these issues tal;ked about more heat than light usually gets produced. I came across a book by Peter Kreeft called *everything you wanted to know about Heaven* and it had alot to say about hell as well.

A major stumbling block for many people who remain nonchristians is hell. How can a good God send people to hell??? Why would an all-loving, all-merciful God want to torture His creation for eternity no matter what they did??? Tough questions that have been debated since forever it seems. Something brought out in the book was what if the question/objection has been placed wrongly??? Suppose God did not send or force anyone into hell???

God is all-powerful. God is Spirit and thus is everywhere present. Not in a pantheistic way but in a real way. There is nowhere to go to escape God, apparently not even hell. There is a verse saying even in hell God sees. The question to be considered about hell is this-what if hell exists precisely because God is love and gives us freewill??? God does forgive all sin, as He did in Christ, but His forgiveness needs to be accepted. A gift is not a gift until its recieved.God offers His love,His grace,His peace at all times. He is love so He cannot be anything other than love. Hell then is a result of freedom, and freedom to reject God. Hell locks its doors from the inside. It is not God acting like a tyrant or dictator and punishing forever those who fail to follow His rule. Rather hell is the freedom a person has to reject God and His love because they love themselves and their own desire to be god themselves more. Heaven and hell are spiritual and not physical. Thus you could say we are in either heaven or hell as we live our lives here on earth depending on our spiritual condition. A verse says to know Jesus Christ and to believe in His Name it to have eternal life.

Much more to be shared, hope to get questions and thoughts generated from this. A key point Kreeft brings up in his writing is that all these things are facts and not feelings. We have decades and decades of thinking that has been shaped by the greek philosophers and the enlightenment. The whole sacred/secular split and material/matter vs faith/spiritual. it is so prevalent for the western mindset to think in materialistic terms. God,His Word, Jesus, Holy Spirit are REAL and even more real than what we see,hear,taste or touch with our senses. Thy will be done Father God!!!!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

The Maturation of Kobe Bryant

Let me start this post by saying first off, I am a diehard Laker fan. I bleed purple and gold!!! I was very fortunate to live in southern california during the 80's when Showtime ruled!!! 32 is my favorite number for one reason only- MAGIC!!!! Ok, enough of that. On to the point of this post.

I think Kobe can be a metaphor for life for all of us. He has had enormous good fortune. He was drafted by one of the most prestigious franchises in basketball, let alone any sport. He got to play alongside the most dominant player in the game. His own talent level and work ethic have been above average and quickly became superstar level. Personally though was a whole other story. Kobe was very reclusive and standoffish. Many stories have been told by his teammates how they tried to get him to hang out and socialize, whether it be playing cards, going to movies or what have you. Kobe chose to stay in his room and play video games or listen to music. His skill at scoring has always been exceptional, as well as his defense. He was seen as a selfish ballhog though, consumed with proving he was to be on the same par as Michael Jordan, who was scorned as being a selfish gloryhog himself for years until the Bulls broke through and won their first championship.

Shaq and Kobe managed to blend and won 3 championships. Turmoil bubbled beneath the surface. Kobe wanted to be *the man* and did win many games with clutch shots. Shaq however, well what can you say, Shaq is *the man* Kobe displayed his dipspleasure a few times, choosing to not shoot during games to show his teammates how much they needed him. Anyone who saw the NBA Finals in 2004 saw a complete implosion. What was originally seen as a superteam crashed and burned when it counted most. Oh a sad sad time in Lakerland, much like 89 when magic and byron scott were hurt and the hated pistons took the title. Anyhow all of that is well-known but just wanted to lay a backdrop.

Shaq was traded and Kobe was given the team and his shot to prove he could lead them to a title without Shaq. Well, ummmmmmm hmmmmmmm maybe Kobe should have checked his ego and thought about things a lil more. He became arguably the best player in the game, but he failed to elevate his team. He scored like Jordan, but the Lakers lost. He seemed to sulk alot and wondered why the other guys couldn't match him. Well duh, hard to mesh when one guy dominates the ball and pretty much leaves the other standin garound watching.

So, after a wild offseason when it seemed Kobe would be traded and even had a weekly tennis match with the media about what he wanted I could almost hear him singing the Clash *should i stay or should i go* lol He stayed. He has led the team, he has shared the ball. He now has gotten a player who makes a title run a real possibility. He stoof up and said its time now for him to walk his talk. Big change from one who has seemed to be all about I.

Hope the maturation sticks Kobe. All of us have sticking points like this that push us along to become better people. Aside from basketball, hopefullly Kobe has grown as a person and in relationships as well. This laker fan hopes to see him lead us back to another ring. Let it rain purple and gold!!!

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

will the real satan please stand up?

Challenge is good. It can be a tough thing,especially when it pushes against an entire way of seeing and believing you may have had most of your life. Pam over at *how goed messed up my religion* has developed quite a provocative discussion on hell and itd amazing how there has been way more light shared than heat. A related theme that i have been jostling with for awhile is satan the devil horned one ole scratch. Just who is this character anyway???

Isaiah 14:12 is one of the key verses where lucifer, which is supposed to be one of the names for satan, is mentioned. Lucifer in hebrew and greek means *bright morning star* or *lightbearer* This verse is often used to delineate how satan fell and his downfall as a fallen angel. Look at the contezt though. It is referring to the king of Babylon and the actions they were taking against Israel and Judah. Babylon had a religious system that involved astrological symbolism and so the language Isaiah uses makes sense in pertaining to them. No where in Scripture will you find an actual depiction of satan and all the angels who rebelled against God being cast out of heaven. Tradition becomes a very powerful thing especially when it goes along as just accepted.

The word satan means adversary. If you look up all its uses in Scripture you will discover that God was called an adversary when He rebuked david or the isrealites for their sin or resistance to Him. The sinful nature we inherited after Adam willfully ate from the tree of good and evil and sought to be like God is satan or Gods adversary. John Anderson who has a radio and internet show called the voice of reason has written a book called *satan an authorized autobiographt* where he details the biblical basis for satan being our adversarial nature against God as opposed to a supernatural angelic being very thoroughly. I wanted to give a bare bones description here to generate discussion and thought. I hope any who come and read don't just dismiss this as heresy. I can supply anyone with a toll free number where you can reach John Anderson and question him yourself he enjoyes hearing from people. A lot is being stirred lately, The Reformation that began under Martin Luther was not what Luther intended. He was a faithful monk in the Roman Catholic Church and had hoped to rein in abuses and problems he saw being committed within the Church. Obviously God had other plans.

The winds of revival and reform are strongly blowing once again, God is always a few steps ahead and challenges us in ways we were not expectiong. Keep it going Almighty God. I find it very powerful how He uses the blogosphere to work His will in and through us by people, who are the mystery *Christ in you* the hope and glory. Amen.

Monday, February 04, 2008

questioning God

God is Almighty, omnipotent,omnipresent, able to do above and beyond all we ask or think. So surely He can handle and even desire to be questioned??? I look at the book of Job, said to be actually the oldest written book in the Bible. The entire focus of the book is really dealing with this issue. What is God's character?? Can God be questioned??? How do we know what kind of God He is???

God appears in Job, actually speaks to him in fact. Gives job the conversation everyone would so want to have, a face-to-face with God Himself. Be careful what you wish for, reading the encounter job doesn't seem to be like a kid in a candy store gleefully quizzing God about all the answers he wants. Quite to the contrary job is humbled and in complete awe. I think he would have to be a psycho not to be, after all this is GOD he is before. Is job a literal story that actually happened??? Is it a parable of what it means to question God and His character??? Does the Bible serve a purpose that God intended as His Living Word???

Wrestling with God is something i think we all do, whether we acknowledge it or not. It can be active or passive, intentional or subconscious. There just is no way around it, unless you are an atheist and believe God doesn't exist. Still atheists must wrestle with life and the questions it raises. Why are we here??? Where does love come from??? Where does evil come from??? Why is Jesus such a controversial person?? Why do we have imaginations and self-consciousness that animals do not have?? These questions are anything but trivial and however long we have been in existence, gazillion years or billion years, their daunting impact doesn't cease.

The idea of predestination vs freewill circles round and round my brain once again. Man the tons of convos had in Bible College about this topic, the countless articles,sermins,books etc written or spoken about it. The one central area that pulls at me is election. So many with good minds, sincere hearts and honest searching believe that God has elected only a chosen amount to recieve salvation. The criterion for that is bases solely on Gods choosing. No one deserves it, no one can choose it, God in His sovereignty i.e. His absolute power and rule, declares who is elect. To me this takes away from Christ and His purpose, unless it is THROUGH HIM that election occurs. God predestined that every person would be redeemed THROUGH Christ and His sacrifice. He predestined for the Gospel of the Good News of salvation as a free gift for all to be the way to Him, and for us to freely choose to come to Him and accept this free gift. Love is chosen not forced. Just some thoughts that have been roaming around in my head. Ask.seek,knock keep wrestling!!!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Against All Odds

Giants shock the sports world!!!! I don't talk about sports much on here but just have to tonight. I have been a longtime NY Giants football fan, some rough times last few years but finally they came through. A lot of cool stuff happened along with this victory. The Giants won a record amount of road games ever in nfl history. They were not expected to make the playoffs, they had a key injury to one of their most important offensive players the tight ends jeremy shockey, they were a tean in total disarray last year during the playoffs and all in the offseason, their best player retired and then called out the QB eli manning for not being a leader. Wow, can you say timebomb??? Season started slow, 2 losses, but then several wins in a row and slowly but surely eli began to show spurts of being the qb we all thought he would be when he was drafted number one.

No one, well except pretty much for us Giant fans, gave them a snowballs chance in hell to win this game. Blowout was expected, tom brady, randy moss rolling all over the poor helpless giants. WRONG!!! Thank you for playing lol. Defensive front four played one of the best games ever in a super bowl by a front 4, eli stepped up and showed he was a leader and in command and he did it within himself and his personality, he didn't try to become loud and brash out of his nature. They played as a team..... they beat a team who can arguably be called one of the best teams of alltime in football ever pretty big deal there.

Hats off to the Giants!!!!! Great game good stuff!!!!